freda-bellatrix

me the freda-bellatrix on blogger!

first of all, let me explain my name... yes, the name freda-bellatrix...

well.. it's not my real name(obviously not)

it's a combination of two different names actually..

"freda" and "bellatrix"

why freda?

someone told me that freda means peace-leader... (really?)

it hence symbolises my desire of obtaining peace and tranquillity

in the depth of my heart and mind

then why bellatrix?

well.. it contains part of my real name...

and the most important fact is that

it is the name of the killer of sirius black in the book of harry potter

i love the name so much but yet i hate the character very much too

it shows the conflict in my mind

and the feeling of hatred, confusion, and grief

"freda-bellatrix"

is the struggling of my double personalities

the life here is so stressful and pragmatic

i'm almost exhausted in the mist of schoolwork and social-life-activities

i hence seek for a place

to yell and scream and shout and cry

and to find my true identity

as a form of

escapism